What We Learn When We Choose to Understand

Growing older, I’ve come to realize how easily doubt and discomfort can form around what we don’t understand. Not always from hate, but from distance. When we aren’t exposed to different cultures, we can carry quiet assumptions without even realizing it. As a Mexican American raised in Texas, I grew up surrounded by people who shared my background. I didn’t truly understand what it felt like to be seen as an outsider until I moved to Germany with my then husband, who is Arab and Muslim. He is now my ex husband, but I have never forgotten the way people looked at him, treated him, and judged him without knowing his heart. It opened my eyes. I also remember being a little girl, afraid of men from the Middle East who came to train at a nearby Air Force base. They were kind, but unfamiliar to me. Looking back, I wonder how much of that fear came from things I had heard without understanding. Children listen. They notice. And sometimes they carry those impressions for years. When I began learning about Islam, I met Arab families whose warmth and generosity stayed with me. They welcomed me into their homes, shared their food, and made room for me in their lives. After I embraced Islam and married, those connections grew deeper. In Germany, the Arab women and families around me gave me a sense of community I will never forget. When I had my baby, our home filled with visitors, food, gifts, and love. They showed up for us, and I still remember how that felt. My marriage ended, but that doesn’t erase the kindness I experienced or the lessons I carry. Arab people deserve to be seen as individuals, with their own stories, personalities, hopes, and struggles. No culture is without flaws, and no person should have to answer for an entire culture. Sometimes, getting to know someone changes what we thought we knew. It certainly changed me.