How do you heal a broken heart?

mood: somber
craving: to see my friends back in UAE. T <3 M <3 C <3 S <3 K <3  I love y'all and miss y'all.

As I was driving tonight with my kids, I turned to my daughter and said, "I know he loved me." She looked at me and said, "Mom, sometimes when people are hurt they say spiteful things." I think thats why he told you, 'I stopped loving you a while back.' And in turn you told him something that hurt him."

I sighed and said, "Yeah, maybe your right. No, you're right." I turned the radio louder, as if I wanted to drown out the silence. I started reminiscing about all the good and crazy times we had together. I wondered when this hurt was gonna stop. Is he the only man in my life that I will love? Is he gonna be the only man to laugh at my crazy jokes and no matter what crazy faces I would make while we were joking. Just to see the look in his eyes when he would laugh at me, was priceless. Whose gonna sit in front of me while I'm putting my make-up on and stare at me and watch me as I put every color on my face. Whose going to be that one person who's gonna love me for me? I know it sounds funny, but I've loved one man in my life and it's Abu Azooz. How will I love another? Alas, it's over.  I pray that Allah puts that love in my heart when the right man comes in my life and I love him for the sake of God and treat him with respect and in turn he does the same. I'm not ready to marry anytime soon. And as a Muslim woman, we don't date.  But, when that time does come. I pray God sends someone with a strong deen and someone who will respect me. I won't take anything less. I deserve this. "I've learned- That writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains." <--- Thanks, Miss Dreamer.. I do miss you.  <=== What a awesome blog.

Side note; anyone who tells me to go back with him. I can't.. This is simply my little rant for the day. I get to do this. Writing puts everything in perceptive for me. 

final whisper: "Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met."

In the end, no one wins

mood: Somber

craving:To always see my son smiling

Salam Alykom and hello to all my readers I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. For my Middle Eastern friends, the weekend is over. You made the best of it, I hope. Now for my entry.

It has been a very difficult year for me. I have only been able to maintain good faith because of God. During my time of despair, I cried out to him. My situation was always hopeful and I had faith it would improve.  The feelings I felt of being away from where I intended to make my life and people I loved/still love were all over the place. There are times in life when you must listen to your heart and choose what is best for you and those you love. It was my decision to remain in the United States. After all, I don't want to make a decision that will harm my son and daughter. It is unlikely that any mother would do that. Ten years ago, I would never have imagined myself in this situation. It is never easy to go through a divorce, and the kids are usually the ones who suffer the most. It is unfortunate.

When both parents live in the same city, it's hard on the kids, but can you imagine being thousands of miles away from them?

I'm sure everyone is interested in hearing who our son will stay with... The judge decided that keeping our son with me would be best. Do I feel happy? Without a doubt. It is important to me that my son stays with me always. However, I also feel compassion towards his father in this regard. Having gone through everything we went through, I threw it out the window. The marriage between him and I is over. I am now most concerned with how my son and his father will remain in contact as often as possible. My son loves and adores his father and I will do everything I can to keep in touch with him.

As for the real purpose of this entry.... There is no winner in a divorce. Both sides are affected by this sad situation. His father is a loving and caring father. The only thing we need to do now is work together to keep the relationship between him and our son open and happy. I'm all for it. I support that wholeheartedly. Regardless of what happened between us, it's no longer a topic of discussion. We are now entering the real work phase. It's about maintaining the loving relationship between father and son. In this life, nothing is easy, but if you work hard and have people who are willing to help you, it's possible. As far as I am concerned, Abu Azooz (the father of Azooz) will do whatever it takes to keep in touch with his son as much as possible.

Making my son aware of the rich and beautiful culture he possesses. Taking the time to talk to him about his loving family back in the United Arab Emirates. Teaching him Arabic properly by an Arabic teacher. My son needs to learn how to pronounce the words correctly, because I don't pronounce the words correctly.  I told him that one day, he will be reunited with his family. Hopefully, God will allow it. During my drive yesterday, I heard this song by Lonestar called I'm Already There. My tears couldn't be contained. It's a father telling his family he'll never leave them.

 Well, Monday is going to be a hard day for Abu Azooz  and I. Abu Azooz will say good-bye to his son. I know this isn't easy for him. But, I'm praying that he comes to see him often. Skype is always good, too. I ask Allah (God) to give my son and his father a nice loving, caring, strong relationship and to make everything easy for all of u.


final whisper: Onward and upward. I bid you farewell, Abu Azooz. May Allah grant you everything you ask for in your life and reward you for all the good times you have shared with us and the love you have shown us. My prayers will always be with you.Whenever I think of you, I always want the best for you. I am sorry that everything had to happen the way it did. We only need to say, "Alhamdullah" (thank you God), because Allah knows what is best for us. There have been many lessons you have taught me in this life, and I will take what I can from it and build upon it. We had a lot of good times and I hope you always remember them. I have been given the greatest gift of my life by you. He is our son. Please know that he will be taken care of and he is loved very much..