My love

mood: missing my son

craving: to hold him

Salam alykom and hello to all my faithful followers. It's a beautiful Sunday today and Im out in my garden soaking up the sun, watching my son play. I hope everyones been well. On to my entry.

I'm missing you today and everyday. As the wind blows through my hair and sun gleams on my face, I think of how you would be at this age. I think of what your voice would sound like, your walk and just your presence. I know this was for the best, yet I long to hold you close and make you feel safe in my arms like I make your siblings feel. We love you without knowing you. I long to feel your little arms wrapped around my waist and can't wait to feel that in the Hereafter. A mother's love is the strongest love below God's. We thank God for all and accept His destiny. Mubarak, until I see your face, I'll long for you. I love you. 

Love,

Your mother

Final whisper: missing you everyday. 

Living like a stranger

Mood: happy

Craving: big red

Nothing stays the same. This last weekend was pretty nostalgic. While we were getting stuff in wal-mart for my famous briyani, I looked around at all the unfamiliar faces (every once in a while, I thought I saw a couple of people I recognized from back in the day) and honestly all the faces I saw there were just were unrecognizable and that kinda made me sad. There was a time where I could walk into wal-mart, or any store in Del Rio, and recognize everyone I talked to and it was enough if I just waved hello! It was enough that at least once a week I'd see those faces smile back at me. Now the people are from other places, not natives of del rio and are just passing by for a couple of years. Who said Del Rio never changes? I don't agree. If you lived out of Del Rio for the amount of time I did and went back you would know that it sure has changed. I take these words from my religion:

`Abdullah bin `Umar narrated:

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) took hold of my shoulders and said, “Be in this life as a stranger or a passerby.” (Al-Bukhari)

If we are in the life as a stranger, a lot of things we go through wouldn't hurt us as much as they do. We would know we are only here for a short time and are just here to worship God and God alone. With that comes clairity and being obiediant to our Creator's wants for us. I'll be the first to admit, I'm not the most religious person in the world, but I know enough to want to please our Creator and to want to live in the gardens of paradise with my loved ones. Del Rio will always be a place where my heart will stay and with that said, I never want to have that feeling leave. All of you who still live in Del Rio and those of you who have moved away to make a beautiful family, will always be close to my heart. At one point and time, y'all made me laugh, cry or just made memories for me to look back on and smile, and thats what I will never forget. 

Final Whisper: God bless Del Rioans. I was just a small girl passing by at the age of 8 and left at age 29, only to return 15 years later. God has really blessed my life with y'all and my new friends from all over the world.

None but ourselves can free our minds

mood: content

craving: to sit in the desert with a big camp fire

As I sit here wondering where my life will take me, I always like to go where my surroundings will mimic where I love and where I want to be again.  I pray day and night that i'll end up in the country that I love and loved me right back. Someday, someday. It's already been four years and it seems like an eternity, but the reasons  I'm back in my country, all make perfect sense now.

As the music gets louder, my thoughts about my future grow stronger. Listening to people speak the beautiful Arabic language, I remember so foundly my past years in UAE. Am I just in a dream now, will someone have to pinch me to wake up so I can just leave the life I had? Nah, it's okay. I've gotten a lot better in my judgement of picking what I want and actually, I do know what I want now. Thank you forties & of course Allah's mercy. 

Thank God for all His blessings He's  bestowed upon my kids and I. I thank Him for giving me the best father ever and my sister and best friends who are always there to comfort me in hard time. I believe whole heartlty that when the time is right, my other half will be better than Ive ever had. It's all about belief and faith, and I have that. 

final whisper: “… and My Mercy embraces all things.” [7:156]