Sundays, manic Sundays...

There's something manic about Sundays...

Sunday mornings with my favorite people are the best. Breakfast tacos are always a good idea, I fast so, breakfast will be a brunch, we're eating healthy breakfast tacos. No Big Red this weekend; hot tea and water quenched thirst. The other day, I was asked, "Why didn't you bring all your stuff with you?" Well, for one, I didn't know I would be staying here in Texas. Is it really a big deal if I didn't bring my stuff? Will those things make me a better person? I'm most bothered by the question. Yes, I left all my stuff in United Arab Emirates and yes, I wish I had brought something with me. A lot of my mom's pictures and personal items. I also have stuff from my grandmothers. Still, that stuff is all material, and we won't take it with us. It is imprinted in my mind and heart that they gave me what they did, and I will always remember what they gave me. Can I ever forget her lovely face? It's impossible. Consequently, I'm making more memories with my kids. If only to see my son's grandparents and the rest of his family, it would be wonderful to return to UAE one day. Single life is very different from married life. As a result, I have to rely solely on myself, and my dad and auntie Millie have been an invaluable source of support. I don't usually talk about my private affairs. My dad makes me want to pour my heart out. Earlier this week, my sister told me, "Dad is very hurt that you had to endure this heartbreak." He called her up to see what he could do to lift me out of my funk. She told him, "It takes time, her heart will heal." She was right, I'm healing in ways I hadn't imagined possible. My faith in Allah is true and I have patience. Through this heartache, Allah helped me. My dad is happy to see me progressing. Each day he looks forward to hearing about my journey. Hopefully y'all are happy to hear that things are going well for me. A day at a time. Now for the biryani (rice with chicken) for tonight. Iftar is coming up. My sisters are fasting, so I'm cooking. Happy days are here to stay, with a few hardships thrown in. We wouldn't have anything to strive for if life were perfect. Final whisper: Ten years from now, I wonder where I will be? :)

Eid , Texan style

mood: blah

craving: to get over my cold and cough

Salam Alykom and Hello, I hope everyone is having a great Saturday. I'm sitting here with the sniffles and a RED nose with a tissue box next to me. I hope this cold subsides fast. :p I have to take my kids out today, we'll go shopping later when the weather cools down. On to my entry.

It's hard to believe that Eid is coming right up and this month has really gone by fast. This Eid will be the second one I'm away from UAE. Last Eid  I thought I would go back to UAE, so it wasn't so bad. But, this Eid is kinda like the first Eid that my heart strings are pulled down. I'm thinking of ways I can make it fun for my kids and spend it with my sisters whom I love and adore. I have to go out today and buy my kids something new to wear for that most special day. My daughter will be in school, so I have to get her a small gift without her knowing what I got her. I know what to get my son. :) I want every Eid to be special for my kids. We will even get my dad and sisters some gifts, too.  Inshallah Abo Azooz (Azooz's father) will call for Azooz, so that should make my son happy. I know Eid won't be as big as it is in UAE. I will miss the jumping to different homes and being exhausted by the end of the night. I'll wake up extra early on the day of eid and pray and then prepare something to eat before my daughter heads off to school. I would of kept her home, but she's been out of school for 3 days because she had surgery. So, I can't take her out. But, after she gets out of school, we will go to one of the sister;s homes here and spend time with everyone. So, it's going to be nice. Inshallah (God's willing). Well, I pray everyone's Ramadan is accepted and Eid is a beautiful day for y'all.

final whisper: This Texan misses everyone back in UAE (even more on the special holidays). I pray that Allah reunites us someday. If not in this life, God's willing in Heaven.

We're okay......

mood: reflective
craving: late night ice cream....Ben & Jerry's, Red velvet cake?  :) :) :)

Be you. Find you. Be happy with that.

Laying here on my bed with my kids is heaven to me. The funniest things come out of my three year old's mouth. He often tells me, "I love you, mama. I love you, a lot." He affectionately kisses my cheek and holds my face close to his. I can feel his breath on me and he stares at me as if he's just studying every part of my face. These moments I spend with my two most precious babies, is priceless. I can't even begin to explain how my world is amazing. Just as long as I have them in my life, I'm alright. I  get teary when I think of my daughter starting university in a few years. I warn her and say, "Make room for your brother and I." She laughs and says, "Mommmmmm." I can't let her go. How could I? Everything that has happened in this one year, can make a sane person crazy. But, I never thought I would be typing an entry here so soon telling everyone, "Yes, we're okay. We really are." A lot has happenend since June and I can't wait for the endless possiblites of it getting better. God is good and He truly knows what His slaves can and can't handle. Alhamdulillah (thank you God) .

I love y'all to the moon and back

My kids are my rocks and they make me realize everyday, that life is good. Listening to my son day after day laugh and smile and playing with his little cars, makes my heart beat faster and it over flows with love. Listening to my daughter laughing with my son and teaching him stuff also makes my heart over flow. There's something about cuddling with them in bed and laughing and just hugging them both, that makes me feel that life is really a big blessing. It's the simple things in life that always bring a smile to my face.




final whisper: So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.

Dreams and beauty

mood: Breezy
craving: New York in Autumn.

Salam Alykom and hello to all my readers. Today is a very lazy day. I had my  kids out all day yesterday and it was sooo hot. Unfortunately, my daughter is sick today and school begins on Monday. : / My son and I have been coloring and playing cars and he's been reciting the ABC's to me. Now, on to my entry. I pray that these last ten nights of Ramadan are blessed for all of us truly seeking for forgiveness and whatever you ask for.

I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain’t as half as bad
As they paint it to be.

The quote above is exactly how I feel. I like to think that life is always beautiful, it's just how you look at it. Even when I'm in a bad mood, I can always look at the world as a beautiful place. So many people in this world have different ideas about what beauty is. We were downtown in the city yesterday and each time I would see someone, I would study that person. Honestly, I really don't think there are ugly people in this world. I think everyone has something beautiful about them.  Eyes, smile or just the way they present themselves. Truly, beauty is from within. Inner beauty is a serene feeling that makes you feel unique and hence allows you to behave generously. This unique and pleasant behavior of yours makes you gorgeous. After all, a beautiful mind says it all.

Spread the Word!

People really don't realize what true beauty is. From a old tree to an old tethered home. I always seem to see beauty in stuff that's not up to par to a lot of people. I was talking to a friend the other day, I told her, "You know, they can give me a million dollar home that's has nothing touched inside, and then they can give me an old home that is as old as my great, great grandparents. I would take the latter." Why? Because I wanna study the history in it. It's beautiful in my eyes and my mind. To know that someone has a history there. Raised children or just lived alone there, is very intriguing to me.  I guess I think to much? I like to think about how different people live in this world. I like to think of the beauty that God has blessed us with. Just give thanks to the endless possibilities that we have as human beings. Possibilities that we can all look beyond.

What is your goal in your LIFE? What do you DREAM to accomplish? What do you HOPE for? Are you as ambitious as you can be? Are you holding yourself back? You can do it. You can do anything you want in this life. Put your mind to it and I promise you will do what you have dreamed about for so long. It takes ambition and determination. Get some paper and write down what you want in your life. Take a step at a time. You will get there. No one said life is easy. Ruin is a gift. It is the road to transformation.You can't just sit back and look at life through a fish lens. You have to go out and do it. Don't expect it to come to you. Go out there and get it before it's too late. Life is short. Do it now before it's to late.

final whisper: begin. explore. create. shine.

Green birds

mood: empathetic

craving: World peace

Salam Alykom and hello to my followers.I hope all my sisters and brothers are having a great Ramadan. I really haven't had a lot of time on the net these days, but I plan (after Ramadan) to catch up. I've been a bit busy. All is well here; this month has brought us a lot of blessings and some news that has hit home hard. After hearing about some of my closest friends' loss (their husband and father) I can't stop thinking of the family. The last time I had a heartache like this was when my first born son passed away. But, of course it's different. None the less, it's a big heartache and when I think of them all, my heart beats faster and I can't help but pray for them. Now, on to my entry.

A dream woke me up in tears last night. It was such a vivid one.  I was in the mountains in Washington State with my dad and daughter. I got a phone call from my sister (in Islam) that lost her husband and son in Libya. She was crying and said, "Where were you? I tried calling and you weren't home. I had to do one of the hardest things in the world today. I had to let the green bird go to Jannah (Heaven) and now he's free." She hung up. I turned to my dad and daughter and told them what she had told me. My dad wiped a tear from his eye and my daughter couldn't help but cry. It was a touching dream. Soon after I got myself together, I called her. To hear her voice soothed me. She's a strong woman and I ask Allah to give her patience. She just lost her son and husband. I told her, "Time will heal" But right now with all her company coming to see them and people calling to see how they are, it's hard to find time to just think alone. When people stop calling so much and 'life just happens', she will realize what exactly happened. I think she's in shock now. What makes her so strong -and I heard it in her voice- is her faith and her Islam. It's okay to feel sad, we are human and we have to cry in order to release our heartache. It's normal. At the end of a sad moment, we as Muslims always say, Alhamdulilah (Thank you God) 

But you may dislike something which is good for you, and you may like something which is bad for you. Allah knows while you do not know. [Noble Quran 2:216]

 

In Islam, when someone passes away,  like a small baby/child or someone who dies for the cause of Allah (God) like our two brothers (Mabruk Eshnuk  and Malik)... this is what is said.


He said: We asked the meaning of the verse (from the Holy Prophet) who said: The souls, of the martyrs live in the bodies of green birds who have their nests in chandeliers hung from the throne of the Almighty. They eat the fruits of Paradise from wherever they like and then nestle in these chandeliers. Once their Lord cast a glance at them and said: Do ye want anything? They said: What more shall we desire? We eat the fruit of Paradise from wherever we like. Their Lord asked them the same question thrice. When they saw that they will continue to be asked and not left without answering the question they said: O Lord, we wish that Thou mayest return our souls to our bodies so that we may be slain in Thy way once again. When He (Allah) saw that they had no need, they were left (to their joy in heaven).

Masruuq [ra] said: "We asked Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud about this verse: “And do not think of those who have been killed in the cause of Allah as dead, rather, they are alive with their Lord and are being provided for."
[Surah ali' Imran, 3: 169]
 

final whisper: "Verily, along with every hardship is relief." (Al-Quran 94:5) We are thinking and praying for y'all.

We are proud...

mood: Disheartened

craving: to be there for the family who lost their father and brother due to martyrdom in Libya

Mabruk Eshnuk (left) and his son Malik left their home in Pittsburgh to volunteer and fight with rebels in western Libya's Nafusa Mountains.

Please go here to read their story..

My mind is numb now. I have tears rolling down my cheeks. I can't think of anything else than my sisters/brothers (in Islam). They lost their dear husband - father and brother in the war in Libya. When I found this out last night, I couldn't believe it. All I could do is run for my cell phone and dial their number.. I was at loss for words when my dear sister answered. How do I get those words out? I couldn't. My throat felt like it was going to burst and tears were flowing. I'm more than sure it hasn't hit them yet. I know too well what it feels like to lose someone close and you try so hard to get your mind together, only later on to break down. It's normal. Our brothers will be missed. I wish I was there with them to comfort them and to let them know that we care. All I can do now is pray for them, which is the best thing ever..

The reason we are proud of our brothers in Islam,is because they fought in the cause of Allah (God) and they fought the oppressed regime there in Libya. I pray that they get the highest place in Heaven and their sins are forgiven.

Remember a man enters into this world empty handed and leaves it empty handed.
Remember. That everything we have, all the blessings we enjoy, are gifts from Almighty Allah. Gifts that we enjoy for a limited period, until He takes them away whenever He deems fit.

They are a trust from Allah, a loan to you to see how you respond to these gifts and how you use them. In the obedience of the Almighty, thanking Him and worshipping Him……OR……..to the disobedience to the One Who gave then to you in the first place..

Take note of the words of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) on the occasion of the death of his son, Ibraahim:

'Our eyes are filled with tears, our hearts with grief, but we say nothing with our lips except that which pleases Allah.... Verily, to Allah we belong, and to Him we return.' (Bukhaari)

It has been narrated on the authority of Masruq Who said: We asked 'Abdullah about the Qur'anic verse: "Think not of those who are slain in Allah's way as dead. Nay, they are alive, finding their sustenance in the presence of their Lord..." (iii. 169).

He said: We asked the meaning of the verse (from the Holy Prophet) who said: The souls, of the martyrs live in the bodies of green birds who have their nests in chandeliers hung from the throne of the Almighty. They eat the fruits of Paradise from wherever they like and then nestle in these chandeliers. Once their Lord cast a glance at them and said: Do ye want anything? They said: What more shall we desire? We eat the fruit of Paradise from wherever we like. Their Lord asked them the same question thrice. When they saw that they will continue to be asked and not left (without answering the question), they said: O Lord, we wish that Thou mayest return our souls to our bodies so that we may be slain in Thy way once again. When He (Allah) saw that they had no need, they were left (to their joy in heaven).

Bukhari. Book 20. Hadith 4651.
"Allah is the Wali (Protector, Guardian, Supporter) of those who believe. He brings them out from darkness into light." [Translation of the Quran -Al-Baqarah 2:257.]

Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajioon ('To Allah we belong and to him is our return.' )
"Be sure we will test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives, but give glad tidings to those who are steadfast, who say when afflicted with calamity: 'To Allah we belong and to him is our return.' They are those on who (descend) blessings from Allah and mercy and they are the once that receive guidance."
(al-Baqarah: 155)

final whisper:
For the father and brother who completed a wonderful family and gave them many years of happiness.
I pray for you, family, from the bottom of my heart. You and your husband have raised amazing children who will hopefully grow stronger with this situation. I can't imagine the pain that you are going through right now. My thoughts and prayers are always with you.