Saturday, June 11, 2011

In the end, no one wins

mood: Somber

craving:To always see my son smiling

Salam Alykom and hello to all my readers I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. For my Middle Eastern friends, the weekend is over. You made the best of it, I hope. Now for my entry.

It has been a very difficult year for me. I have only been able to maintain good faith because of God. During my time of despair, I cried out to him. My situation was always hopeful and I had faith it would improve.  The feelings I felt of being away from where I intended to make my life and people I loved/still love were all over the place. There are times in life when you must listen to your heart and choose what is best for you and those you love. It was my decision to remain in the United States. After all, I don't want to make a decision that will harm my son and daughter. It is unlikely that any mother would do that. Ten years ago, I would never have imagined myself in this situation. It is never easy to go through a divorce, and the kids are usually the ones who suffer the most. It is unfortunate.


When both parents live in the same city, it's hard on the kids, but can you imagine being thousands of miles away from them?

I'm sure everyone is interested in hearing who our son will stay with... The judge decided that keeping our son with me would be best. Do I feel happy? Without a doubt. It is important to me that my son stays with me always. However, I also feel compassion towards his father in this regard. Having gone through everything we went through, I threw it out the window. The marriage between him and I is over. I am now most concerned with how my son and his father will remain in contact as often as possible. My son loves and adores his father and I will do everything I can to keep in touch with him.



As for the real purpose of this entry.... There is no winner in a divorce. Both sides are affected by this sad situation. His father is a loving and caring father. The only thing we need to do now is work together to keep the relationship between him and our son open and happy. I'm all for it. I support that wholeheartedly. Regardless of what happened between us, it's no longer a topic of discussion. We are now entering the real work phase. It's about maintaining the loving relationship between father and son. In this life, nothing is easy, but if you work hard and have people who are willing to help you, it's possible. As far as I am concerned, Abu Azooz (the father of Azooz) will do whatever it takes to keep in touch with his son as much as possible.



Making my son aware of the rich and beautiful culture he possesses. Taking the time to talk to him about his loving family back in the United Arab Emirates. Teaching him Arabic properly by an Arabic teacher. My son needs to learn how to pronounce the words correctly, because I don't pronounce the words correctly.  I told him that one day, he will be reunited with his family. Hopefully, God will allow it. During my drive yesterday, I heard this song by Lonestar called I'm Already There. My tears couldn't be contained. It's a father telling his family he'll never leave them.






 Well, Monday is going to be a hard day for Abu Azooz  and I. Abu Azooz will say good-bye to his son. I know this isn't easy for him. But, I'm praying that he comes to see him often. Skype is always good, too. I ask Allah (God) to give my son and his father a nice loving, caring, strong relationship and to make everything easy for all of u.


final whisper: Onward and upward. I bid you farewell, Abu Azooz. May Allah grant you everything you ask for in your life and reward you for all the good times you have shared with us and the love you have shown us. My prayers will always be with you.Whenever I think of you, I always want the best for you. I am sorry that everything had to happen the way it did. We only need to say, "Alhamdullah" (thank you God), because Allah knows what is best for us. There have been many lessons you have taught me in this life, and I will take what I can from it and build upon it. We had a lot of good times and I hope you always remember them. I have been given the greatest gift of my life by you. He is our son. Please know that he will be taken care of and he is loved very much..

18 comments:

Maryam said...

Stay strong , for yourself and your son's sake. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

It's always hard on the kids, you're so right. But inshallah their relationship will always be positive.
I think though it's also hard on kids when parents stay together in an unhealthy relationship.
Inshallah he'll come to visit his son. Maybe he can write and send little gifts to him, kids love to get mail! And yeah, there's skype and webcams and lots of ways these days to keep in touch.
I'm truly sorry you had to go through this. ***HUGS***

The Beach Bedouin said...

Dear Texan,

alhamdullilah you can keep your son with you. But yes, it's like that, there is no winner and I know it from my experience as I went through a very similar situation and the father of my daughter is also living in the US and we are in Germany.We are living separate since 5 years and he's visiting every three month and spending a few weeks with our daughter. Every time the good bye is a heartbreak for all of us; for both of them obviously and for me because I am the one who see and feel the pain each time and have to console my daughter for the separation. Though alhamdullilah it's working so far and my attitude was always like that, no matter what's between me and him she has the right just to keep a good relationship to her father and nothing should affect this. Alhamdullilah!
May Allah swt. bless you and your family and make the best possible of your situation.

UmmRania said...

Assalamu Alaikum

My big hugs for you today! Your so right, no one wins but I pray that Allah guides you all and gives you all whats best! I love you for Allah!

Nusaybah said...

Assalaamu 'alaykum sis, I pray that Allaah blesses you and guides you always. Sending massive hugs and lots of love.

Unknown said...

A great closure for you and a better start for your son and his father. Keep Your Faith Strong in Allah.

PS: Azooz is not missing much it hotter than Texas here. I miss the cool summer breeze and the painful mosquito bites from Winnipeg :P.

sheeshany said...

I don`t know what to say! I really don`t!

it`s a lose-lose situation no matter how u slice it! :(

---

I thank you 4 yr last "whisper" , u r a good person dear.

oldie goldie said...

oh habibti, i just came from the summerhouse where i stayed the whole weekend, and run right here to see how you're doing. alhamdulilah for the court decision you got. inshaAllah azooz will have a close relationship to his dad too. love ya sis!

Amina said...

You said it best. No one really wins in a divorce.

This is such an emotional post and I had to blink back the tears.

Hugs!

I love you :)

athoofa said...

:'(

May Allah give you and the whole family the best always habibti. This was a beautiful post. I'm happy Azooz will stay with his mommy inshaAllah. Ya Rubb he has a good relationship with his father too.

TesaLili said...

Im all in tears. You are so right, there is no winner in this case.. but alhamdulilah the son is with you and you will teach him everything good. AboAzooz is very lucky his son has this kind of mother. mashaAllah.

I love you sis, you have a golden heart.

TesaLili said...

Im all in tears. You are so right, there is no winner in this case.. but alhamdulilah the son is with you and you will teach him everything good. AboAzooz is very lucky his son has this kind of mother. mashaAllah.

I love you sis, you have a golden heart.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see the judge decides for you to keep your son and reading your words I am sure Azooz and his dad will have a beautiful relationship too.
You are so kind and willing to make everything you can for them to create this special bond - It's so lovely to read your words as many couples around me are torn away and don't seem to find a peaceful place to let the love fill the air.

Stay strong and be blessed for your tender heart.

S. H. said...

no words
XOXO
Keep strong and Allah in your heart

Noor said...

Asalam Alaykum, I am sorry for the rough year you and your family have had. May Allah make things to come much smoother for you all Ameen.

I can not even imagine all that you have went and are going through, stay strong.

truth said...

assalamu alaikum sister.
i think still both of you love each other.it is possible you may go back to uae one day.

we all pray for your reunion.
insha allah and aameen.

Alia said...

Assalamu Alaikum!
May Allah SWT shield you from sorrow and may he bless you with a long, happy life, Ameen! Inshallah!
I really liked your blog.
Nice posts, Mashallah!
Keep up the good work!

Do visit my blog too!

Alia
http://aliascreativelife.blogspot.com/

Elisa said...

Assalaamu alaykum,
I have been a follower of your blog for a while now and I am so very sorry I did not write you sooner. I pray Allah (swt) keeps you and your family strong during this painful time. May He use this situation as a means of good for all of you. Ameen.
I am currently going through a situation of divorce as well so I know how painful it is. Every day I can only rely on the strength of Allah to keep me going and alhamdullilah for everything.

Behind closed doors in the Middle East.

Howdy, ya'll. My first post after returning to the states ages ago was funny to me. If you have any thoughts, let me know. It was certai...